A Woman on the Edge: Review of Blue Jasmine

Blue Jasmine

Director: Woody Allen

By Alex Watson

 

Woody Allen is without question a cornerstone in the history of cinema and has movie with their quirky style have created some iconic moments, but after a glorious 1970’s/ 1980’s period, Allen’s career has been somewhat hit and miss since then but his move to more European settings has shown glimpses of a very new and more humane Woody style with the wonderful Vicky Christina Barcelona and Midnight in Paris. This week New York’s finest returns with his new effort Blue Jasmine which returns him to back the US- but will this effort bring back the old style that his fans adore?

After her marriage to crooked business Hal (Alec Baldwin) falls apart when he is jailed for fraud- drunken former socialite Jasmine (Cate Blanchett) flees to San Francisco to start new with her adoptive sister Ginger (Sally Hawkins), while she searches for herself in a haze of alcohol, Jasmine is forced to face the realities of her new life among the working class but also has to face the ghost of her rich past- but can she keep herself on the straight and narrow without going to pieces?

Blue Jasmine is Woody Allen’s finest work of this century so far and as a movie it astutely observes the world as it stands currently- Jasmine is a lady of leisure who has been forced from the comfortable bubble where so happily lived into an unknown and terrifying place- Blue Collar America! Her early scenes integrating among her sister’s mechanic boyfriend Chilli (Bobby Cannavale) is priceless as she winces at the very idea of dating someone who doesn’t love the glamorous and superficial.

As a character- Jasmine is a more complex one as you would expect and as we are drip fed details about her wealthy past- our opinion of her hardens throughout. Throughout it is apparent that she cannot survive without someone to fall back on whether it is her sister or the nice new politician Dwight (Peter Sarsgaard) she has just met. The realities of her new life hit harder than a bullet as she comes to terms that she is without education or working experience to survive and will have to rely on her charms to get by in life!  Through Allen’s excellently observant direction we get a compelling look at a woman on the verge of collapse!

But this isn’t just Jasmine’s show throughout and Ginger is another character struggling to get by in life and after a disastrous marriage is still seeking for a man to provide her with stability and isn’t help by her sister’s constant belittling of Chilli being  ‘a loser’ despite his honesty and kindness to her!  As her sister urges her to find a better man she embarks on an ill judged affair with audio man Al  (Louis CK) which can only spell tragedy looming! Both sisters share only one thing- they haven’t got the confidence need to go out there and stake their claim. Though through past instants, Jasmine is partly to blame for this!

Cate Blanchett gives a dominating performance in Blue Jasmine as ice queen Jasmine and throughout she holds the screen with sheer force that we cannot once look away from her, even when she stumbles for more booze and rambles incoherently! Blanchett as one today’s finest actresses give us a memorable turn as a lady who is truly lost but doesn’t know what on earth to do with herself- with award season looming this is one name I expect to see throughout!

The supporting turns are equally as superb with Alec Baldwin excelling as her seemingly perfect husband Hal, Baldwin bring an excellent breed of warmth and sheer oiliness that makes him seem so endearing that when the rug is pulled- it really becomes a shock! Sally Hawkins also does well as her sad sister Ginger and throughout she matches Blanchett to deliver a performance that is also heartbreaking.

Blue Jasmine proves there is life in Woody Allen yet and seems that many people who thought he should stay in New York might want to reconsider their thoughts. But there is also a new style flourishing here as Woody begins to express more interest in America and its people and it will be fascinating to see what develops- Welcome back Woody, we really missed you!

Top 10 Movie Speeches

 

Good Will Hunting

Gus Vant Sant’s movie has many moments and speeches that are quotable- but none stand out more than the Park Scene where through one excellent monologue, Sean Maguire (Robin Williams) cuts Will Hunting (Matt Damon) down to size. After their previous session where Will mocked his life- Sean comes back with speech that slices through him like a laser where he points out that outside of his book smarts and swaggering attitude, Will has never been beyond his neighbourhood and knows nothing of the world or the pains that Sean has seen. But the line that hits home most is “I don’t see an intelligent, confident man… I see a cocky, scared shitless kid.” In this moment Will has found his equal and for once he is reduced to being speechless!

Any Given Sunday

Before an all important AFFA playoff game against the Dallas Knights, the Miami Sharks old time coach Tony D’Amato (Al Pacino) rallies the troops with a speech that is truly inspiring as he encourages them to forget about playing for themselves and “Inch by Inch” learn to play like a team. This fiery and impassioned moment also forces D’Amato to re-evaluate his own life as he confesses that he has driven away everyone who has loved him and made a lot of wrong choices! But as he tells the team to fight for the inches- the hairs stand up one our neck as D’Amato cries “Because we know when add up all those inches, that’s gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing!”

The King’s Speech

Throughout this superb Oscar winning drama, King George VI (Colin Firth) has had a chronic fear of public speaking due to his stammer (his opening speech at Wembley Stadium is painful personified), but thanks to his unorthodox therapist Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) he has begun to get somewhere. But now comes to the all important address to the nation of the eve of WW1, but unlike his previous attempts, his secret weapon is having Logue standing with him and this gives him the confidence he needs. The speech delivered is one that is truly fit for a King and allows him to become the voice of the war for the nation.

Network

News Anchor Howard Beale (Peter Finch) has suffered a breakdown and was previous fired due to low ratings- but his reaction even the wisest person couldn’t have predicted. On live television, Beale starts a sizzling rant over his disillusionment with society today at the violence being caused and the generally apathy of the public. But rather than having them riot- he urges his viewers to “get angry” and moments later he delivers the infamous line “I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it and stick your head out, and yell, I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!”- soon the audience follows suit and the stunned executives look on in amazement!

 

To Kill a Mockingbird

Fittingly in this adaptation of Harper Lee’s novel, Atticus Finch (Gregory Peck) one of cinema’s great heroes delivers one its greatest speeches. Defending Tom Robinson- a black man on a trumped up rape charge, he appeals in vain to the all white jury to set aside their prejudices and instead do the right thing and focus on Tom’s unquestionable innocence, ending with the hard hitting line “In the name of GOD, do your duty. In the name of God, believe… Tom Robinson.” Though his speech ruffles a few feathers in court, Atticus secretly knows he is fighting a losing battle as Tom’s skin colour has already convicted him here!

A Few Good Men

There are plenty of fireworks to be had in Rob Reiner’s courtroom drama, but the big finale occurs when Colonel Nathan Jessup (Jack Nicholson) takes the stand, here whilst being hit with questions like bullets by Lt Daniel Kaffee (Tom Cruise) he demands the senior office gives him the truth over the death of a marine- incensed by this line of question Jessup scornfully says “You can’t handle the truth” and bitterly calls out Kaffee for his cynicism against the marines as they provide the freedom he enjoys and that the action he takes saves lives! This speech is all the more memorable as Jessup cares little for his fate and presses home that all he did was given an order- so there! In a brief appearance Nicholson succeeds in giving Jessup a tiny piece of empathy from us.

The 25^th Hour

This speech by Monty Brogan (Edward Norton) will stand as the most bitter and profanity filled one of the lot as in one lengthy oration, Monty address the audience over his hates about every ethnicity, religion, culture and even his friends and family! But there is far more to this speech than just hate and malice, through this we hear all Monty insecurities, fears and his sheer terror at going to prison for the next seven years- but even he doesn’t get off easily in this speech as at the end his image in the mirror disdainfully mocks him for throwing his life away! A classic Spike Lee moment and a reminder what a god actor Norton can be!

Patton

The very beginning of Patton gives an indication of the man we are about to witness- stood before a giant American flat General George Patton (George C Scott) address his soldiers with a bold and passionate speech about how America will bring victory to the war because it is not in their nature to lose as the nation loves a winner and he quotes “That’s why Americans have never lost, and will never lose a war… because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.” First time viewers may just this as being sickeningly patriotic, but even today it makes us sit up and pay attention and through this one scene, it sets up Patton’s never say die attitude.

MoneyBall

Of the all the lengthy speeches on this list, this moment is perhaps the least talky of them all, but through limited dialogue it brings its point across. After losing yet another game, Oakland Athletics GM Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) visits the team locker room, only to find player Jeremy Giambi messing around and distracting the team- annoyed Billy turns off his music and casually asks him “Is losing fun?” upon hearing it is not, Billy says to him “Then why are you having fun?” cue ballplayers hanging their heads in shame as silence hangs on the air! This moment proves pivotal to the teams turnaround later in the film and through these few words spoken- Billy point is struck home like a fastball!

Glengarry Glen Ross

Alec Baldwin’s character Blake is restricted to only one scene in this movie, but his impact is unforgettable. Brought in by the big bosses due to a slump in sales, Blake unashamedly rips a room full of old estate agents to shreds and tells them to follow the ABC’s “Always Be Closing!” and informs them they must have brass balls in order succeed, and through Baldwin suave dangerous feel makes this scene compulsory viewing. Just make sure you don’t refill your coffee mug while he’s talking because “Coffee’s for closers only!” just ask Jack Lemmon!

Days of Speed: Review of Rush

Rush

Director: Ron Howard

By Alex Watson

Motorsports always needs a great rivalry to provide unbeatable action and tension to keep the viewers at home hooked whether it is Prost V Senna, Mansell v Piquet or Hill v Schumacher. All of these great competitors were willing to go the extra mile to beat their opponents (regardless of whether it was ethical or not). But one rivalry that stands out is one that ignited the dramatic 1976 Formula one season and even today is regarded as high for the sport, and that one was of Austrian ace Niki Lauda and British lady-killer James Hunt. This year Ron Howard brings the full story to the screen in his film Rush– but with F1 being so absent on our screens, will this prove a turn point for Motorsport in cinema?

Having previously crossed paths in Formula 3, Niki Lauda (Daniel Bruhl) and James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth) draw swords for the 1976 F1 season, but after a great start by Lauda in his devastatingly quick Ferrari, Hunt is left playing catch up but after a dramatic tenth race at the Nurburgring in Germany as Lauda suffers a life changing crash- but while Hunt racks up the points, Lauda makes an ambitious effort to make it back to track which will led to one of the most exciting championship showdowns in history.

Rush is a movie that is heart stopping throughout and thanks to Ron Howard’s excellent execution of the racing scenes, the adrenaline is constantly flowing! The Lauda/Hunt rivalry is a fitting story for any movie and against the background of the swinging 70s this tale keeps viewers hooked throughout as the men from two completely different worlds compete for glory. Their back stories perfectly personify the men, Lauda is a technically excellent racer whose constant focus and direct attitude earns him as many enemies as it does admirers, to the point he where insults Ferrari over the car they have given him, team mate Clay Regazzoni quips “Are you ever not an arsehole?”

Hunt is a dashing devil may care racer who lives life hard both on and off the track! Immensely quick on the track he leaves behind a trail of wreckage and a bad reputation among teams. As he enters the movie he has been brought to hospital because another driver beat him up over a ‘disagreement’ over his wife! His declining reputation stagnates to the point where he has to beg Teddy Mayer (Colin Stilton) of McLaren to give him a drive just to be on the grid! Racing is the only common ground the two men have and they are both seeking to be the best at it!

On the track is where Rush really fires and through great CG, the dangerous time of 70s F1 is brought brilliantly to life. This time of racing wasn’t like the Vettel dominated sport we see today and the reminder of death looms large over this film as drivers have accidents they don’t always walk away from! The tipping point for the story is Lauda’s life changing accident at the Nurburgring- through Howard (and some impressive use of prosthetics) Lauda’s painful and determined recovery is one that gives us a complete 360 degree change of heart and as he makes his awkward attempt to return only six weeks later at the Italian Grand Prix, we firmly route for him!

Fittingly Rush gives us a climax that rivals the drama and anxiety of the 1976 season as our two heroes do battle against a rain swept Mount Fuji at the Japanese Grand Prix. With visibility at zero, the pair go to all lengths to stay ahead and as always, the results are one that are remarkably close and not without some late race problems! This sequence will stand as one of the most exciting racing scenes shot!

Yes this movie will have moments that F1 purists (such as myself) will nitpick at such as their decision to omit Hunt’s controversial disqualification from winning the British Grand Prix or the over use of montages and facts to keep non motorsport lovers updated, but all that is irrelevant because we are given a great cinematic story and this will provide entertainment regardless of it you know names such as Jacky Ickx or Jochen Mass!

As the pair of rivals, both leading men are perfectly casted as the mismatched duo, with Bruhl leading the way the analytical Lauda and through Bruhl’s firm presence on screen it is Niki who we come out warmed by as he shows tremendous courage overcoming his fate and even though his personal skills are at times questionable- his spirit is not! Hemsworth fits the role of James Hunt like a glove and effortless brings the British drivers easy going charm to life. But it his quieter moments that are more intriguing as James is forced to reflect on the man beneath the gloss!

I am delighted to announce to the world that in Rush we finally we have an F1 film that stands out in the modern day and not since Grand Prix has racing action been this exciting. Hunt and Lauda’sbattle is one that deserves to be seen onscreen and it is ironically an American we have to thank for this- Ron Howard you have a very happy F1 fan here!

Top 10 Greatest Movie Deaths

Hitler (Inglorious Basterds): The climax of Quentin Tarantino’s very violent WW2 film is a mixture of glorious OTT violence and complete historical inaccuracy- but of course we didn’t come to this movie for a history lesson! Here we see two examples of Jewish revenge as jewish cinema owner Shoshanna (Melanie Laurent) avenges her families death by the Nazi’s by burning her cinema to the ground while Jewish soldier Donnie Donovitz (Eli Roth) literally blows Hitler’s face to smithereens! Tarantino’s gleeful execution of this blood splatter makes this scene all the more memorable!

Frank D’Amico (Kick Ass): Kick Ass stacks up many gruesome deaths during its running time (such as Dexter Fletcher going through the car crusher) but none were quite as memorable as the demise of Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong) who after a brutal fight with Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz) he has her at his mercy- until Kick Ass (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) ruins the party by blowing him out the window with a bazooka while quipping “Pick on someone your own size!” this death makes for a fine ending and ensure D’Amico went out with a bang!

Roy Batty (Blade Runner): Out of all the blood and gore filled deaths on display here, the death of replicant Roy (Rutger Hauer) is the most poetic of them all! After saving the life of Deckard (Harrison Ford), Roy goes into his infamous monologue informing him “I’ve… seen thing you people wouldn’t believe” but the most moving moment of all is his final line “Time to Die.” Through Vangelis’ gorgeous synthesized score- this death is still one of the most emotional ever filmed.

First Scanner (Scanners): Canadian director David Cronenberg proved himself the master of blood splatter in the 1980’s and his greatest example was the head explosion scene in Scanners! Whether you have sat through this piece or not- this scene remains one of the pinnacles in cool movie deaths as Michael Ironside’s telepathic power creates one hell of a mess for a janitor to clean- but watching the splatter and latex fly is still look damn awesome and you have to pray that no one ever opts to remake this scene!

Sgt Neil Howie (The Wicker Man): All the way through Robin Hardy’s masterful 70s piece, devotedly religious policeman Neil Howie (Edward Woodward) suspects something creepy is happening on the pagan community of Summerisle- and at the jaw dropping climax, he realizes his suspicions have been right and he is to burned inside a giant wicker man as a human sacrifice! As he screams in vain while dragged to his fate our stomachs go cold! But it’s his crying out for his God to rescue him as the fire lights and flames flicker that are the most devastating as his fiery death draws near!

Marion Crane (Psycho): It is impossible not have a greatest movie deaths list and not include Janet Leigh’s iconic shower death- this scene has proven an inspiration for many over the years and today it still has the ability to shock! Yes it does look dated and to some it will probably look unimpressive- but you still jump with fright when the shower curtain draws back and Bernard Herrmann’s piercing orchestral pieces plays! The moment rightly takes it place in movie death history.

Cohaagen (Total Recall): Paul Verhoeven’s Total Recall was a wonderful example of cheap and over the top 90s effects, but the movie’s finest hour came from the brilliant death of villain Cohaagen (Ronnie Cox) who after being thrown into the barren air of Mars- feels the full painful effects of its atmosphere! As we watch his eye bulging out of his head, this is Verhoeven visuals at their best and he provides us a death that is fittingly gross to Cohaagen slimebag nature- Bryan Cranston had it easy in the remake of this last year!

Glenn (A Nightmare on Elm Street): Johnny Depp’s first on-screen outing proved to one that wasn’t forgetten as he feel victim to a twist of horrific Freddy Kruger fate! Whilst seemingly waking from a dream, he looks down to see Freddy’s knives wielding hand pull him into his bed- cue a jetstream of blood that probably Cronenberg would find excessive! Seriously why didn’t they have more of this on the Elm Street remake in 2010?

The Sloth Victim (Se7en): Include this death for the sheer shock value it still brings- after discovering a drug who has been tied to a bed and had heroin injected into his body for over year by baddie John Doe- he has been reduced to skeleton corpse who is seemingly dead! A victim of the sin of Sloth- through no words used (and some scary make up) we can see the full extent of the suffering he has witnessed. But when one of the SWAT leans over to say “you got what you deserved.” they get a wicked surprised moments later!

Carl Showalter (Fargo) The Wood chipper scene in the Coen Brothers Fargo will always be among the most grizzly deaths ever witnessed as fast talking criminal Carl Showalter (Steve Buscemi) meets his maker in the worst way!  Police Chief Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand) hears the sounds of a loud buzzing, but the nearer she gets we get the impression she won’t find a bee keeper around the corner- what she does find is Carl being lowered into a wood chipper by Peter Stormare and as he runs- Carl’s foot still hangs from the chipper! This is a death so popular with fans, it even gained its own facebook page!

Losing My Religion: Review of The Name of The Rose

Classic from the Vault

The Name of the Rose (1985)

Director: Jean-Jacques Annaud

By Alex Watson

 

A murder mystery always makes for great and compelling viewing in cinema as our protagonist struggles in vain to find a killer and these stories have been going back as far as time remembers. One great example of this type of story is when in 1985 French director, Jean-Jacques Annuad adapted Umberto Eco’s Franciscan Monastery set novel The Name of the Rose– although he turned a few heads casting Sean Connery- the end result was to be a career high for many involved as a murderer with a cause skulks through the abbey!

Set in 1327, Franciscan monk William of Baskerville (Sean Connery) travels with his young apprentice Adso (Christian Slater) to Benedictine Abbey to assist with an investigation of their murder of another Monk. Soon after their arrival, more deaths are involved and each is more gruesome than the last. The only thing connecting these deaths is the deceased all had black marks on their thumbs. It becomes clear soon that there is a killer among them to is silencing people to keep a secret of the abbey well hidden- things are also not helped when William’s bitter rival Bernardo Gui (F. Murray Abraham) arrives with the Holy Inquisition!

The Name of the Rose is one of the most under-rated thrillers of the 1980’s and through icy cold air there is a haunting ambience to the abbey that is forever lasting and through this Annaud allows this compelling mystery to unravel itself and gives us one of the most interesting and thrilling mysteries on years gone by! Though the Monks are men of God- we can sense that the Lord has abandoned this abbey long ago and this exemplified when Adso points this to out William who calmly replies “Have you found any places where God would have felt at home?”

From the very moment of William’s arrival- there are suspicious stares galore and it is made apparent that the monks harbour some dark secrets and through a variety of grotesquely featured actors (deliberately done by Annaud for good effect), including a pre stardom Ron Perlman as demented hunchback Salvatore- all of them look equally suspect and do not take kindly to William’s question of their ways.  As the slow burning tale slowly reveals each shocking revelation, Annaud keeps us constantly hooked. But things are then given a major shakeup when Gui and the Inquisition arrive on the scene and immediately begin accusing innocents of heresy and then burning them at the stake!

One of the main arguments of The Name of the Rose is the conflict of religion versus rationalism and it becomes apparent that one of the monks believes laughter to be the work of the devil whereas Williams argues that it is in mans nature to laugh and enjoy laugh! Soon this argument forms one of the core aspects of the plot and it becomes apparent that there is a book missing from the library that one monk will kill to keep secret!

Sean Connery was not originally wanted as William and had to fight off competition from Richard Harris, Ian McKellen Michael Caine and Paul Newman to claim the role. His BAFTA win for Best Actor proves he was the right choice and his William is a great mixture of clever thinking and sly wit and throughout he makes a wonderful investigator who isn’t afraid to ruffle feather- no matter how high up they may be!  As Gui, F. Murray Abraham makes a memorably nasty villain and Gui is a man who seems to enjoy abusing the power his role gives him and from the moment he arrives, he is given a free reign to spread chaos!

Christian Slater in his first ever role holds the screen well as innocent novice Adso and it could even by argued that this is truly his story and his faith is shaken as he witnesses how brutal mankind can be! Slater after his great 80’s performances hasn’t been any near as strong since and in some way it is a shame as he is magnificent here. Also the narration of Dwight Weist as the older Adso deserves a mention and it sends a tingle through us whenever it appears!

The Name of the Rose is a movie that deserves a watch by fans of this genre because through the excellent direction of Annauld and Connery’s charismatic performance, this will rank as one of the most original thrillers you will ever see. Though do prepare for things to get gruesome because there is no holy spirit guarding these walls!

Summer Loving: Review of The Way Way Back

The Way Way Back

Directors: Nat Flaxon & Jim Rash

By Alex Watson

It is always a lovely surprise when we find an indie movie which truly makes us smile, laugh and cry all in the same neat package. Last year we were given Ruby Sparks which dealt with a writer making one hell of a creation, this year we take in a seaside vacation where life is sweet, families are conflicted and a troubled young man begins to find his own way in Nat Flaxon and Jim Rash’s effort The Way Way Back.

Duncan (Liam James) is dragged on a vacation to Cape Cod with his mother Pam (Toni Collette) and her overbearing boyfriend Trent (Steve Carrell). Initially miserable and lonely, his holiday changes for the better when he comes into contact with free spirited water park manager Owen (Sam Rockwell) who encourages to have fun and find himself- when he begins to work at the park his summer takes a turn for the better and soon a possible first love homes into view.

The Way Way Back is a truly delightful film and in a summer filled with Kirk, Tony Stark and Brad Pitt fighting zombies- this effort is perhaps the best summer movie and through its charming feel it is impossible not to like this effort! Flaxon and Rash give audiences a movie which allows us to reminisce about the follies of youth and the pains of our first crush. The costal setting works wonders for the story as the various families let loose by indulging in drugs and alcohol- much to Duncan’s dismay.

In this we are given what is perhaps the most likeable and naturally funny movie of 2013, particularly due in the scenes in the Water Wizz park where Duncan’s vacation gets a massive shot in the arm in the shape of borderline slacker Owen who gives him an escape from his issues and allows him to become a stronger and more charming person as he set his sights on his pretty neighbour (AnnaSophia Robb)- even if Owen does seem to allergic to doing anything approaching work! The members of the water park provide a wealth of excellent supporting characters such as sardonic Louis (Jim Rash) whose life is stuck in a constant loop he can’t escape from.

But the real winner of The Way Way Back comes from the richness of the characters we are given. With minimal details given, the richness of Flaxon and Rash’s script tell us the whole story of any character on screen. Duncan is a boy in a hard place and his mother Pam is just trying to keep the family together. Plus it doesn’t help that Trent’s behaviour towards him boarders on emotional abuse! Particularly in the first scene where when he tells the young man that on a scale of one to ten- he is a three! Also he has to content with a scene stealing Alison Janney as permanently sloshed mum whose seems intent on humiliating her crossed eyed son!

Liam James proves to be a real find as Duncan as through his excellent performance he gives the movie the centre piece that it requires and holds it with great emotional feel. Toni Collette is equally strong as his sad sack mother who is strives to keep everyone happy at any cost- even if she is only masking her pain inside!

Steve Carrell does an excellent job of playing an on screen jerk and his role as Trent is one that will surprise many. But he doesn’t play this man as an out and out dick, his problems go to a far deeper core and his constant need to control people has left him unable to express himself properly. Carrell shows what a great actor he can be when not stuck in formulaic comedies and the indie work suits him very well! But this movie belongs to the amazing Sam Rockwell who fills the movie with colour and laughs galore as man-child Owen- from the very moment of his introduction he brings a smile to us and this will remain whenever he ventures on screen!

The Way Way Back is odds on to be the indie darling of this year and the theme of tackling life’s problems and becoming the person we’re supposed to be is one that is thoroughly enchanting and it’s a film that makes us want to feel young again. Family trips to the beach will never be the same again!

Top 10 Greatest Movie Insult Lines

 

“It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!” Gunnery Sgt Hartman (R Lee Emery)- Full Metal Jacket

““You are nothing! If you were in my toilet I wouldn’t bother flushing it. My bathmat means more to me than you.”” Buddy Ackerman (Kevin Spacey)- Swimming with Sharks

“You’re about a much use as cock flavoured lollypop.” Patches O’Houlihan (Rip Torn)- Dodgeball.

“No, I don’t like you. I think you’re a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren’t in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I’d bang your tuna girlfriend”. – Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg) – the other guys

“Your wife’s so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. If you wanna fuck her, you gotta slap her thigh and ride the wave in.” Joe Hallenback (Bruce Willis)- The Last Boy Scout

“Look up ‘idiot’ in the dictionary, you know what you’ll find?”

“A picture of me?”

“No, the definition of the word ‘idiot’ which you fucking are.” Gay Perry (Val Kilmer)- Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang.

“Ho, ho, ho! Well, if it isn’t fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou!” Alex De Large (Malcolm McDowell)- A Clockwork Orange.

“Fuck you- that’s my name!” Blake (Alec Baldwin)- Glengarry Glen Ross

“Will you shut the fuck up! There is no bugle program! You sizzle-dick motherfucker! Who do you think you are, some kind of Kenny G or some shit?” Staff Sergeant Sykes (Jamie Foxx)- Jarhead.

“Seat yourself at our trusty Remington, John, and we shall piss on this person from a great height.” Kenneth Halliwell (Alfred Molina) – Prick up your Ears