Five Terrible Movie Accents

 

Shia LaBeouf (Nymphomaniac)

Normally this man sticks to his own accent, but in Lars Von Trier sex addiction piece, LaBeouf opts for an utterly bizzare attempt at a British accent that flounders somewhere between England, Australia and probably South Africa. This effect only helped to make his performance far more wooden than intended and this is the kind of accent that should be studied by budding actors as how to not to deviate from a tried and tested formula.

 

Keanu Reeves (Bram Stoker’s Dracula)

‘Canoe’ Reeves in Francis Ford Coppola’s movie opts for a British accent so grating that it makes the skin crawl. In a tale that is notoriously dark and disturbing, Reeves only succeeds in bringing an almost comedic feel to this movie and sounds far more like a man reading lines off the BBC World Service. Had he tried this in Bill & Ted, it probably would have been celebrated!

 

Don Cheadle (Oceans 11)

The normally solid and reliable Cheadle was truly the weak link in Steven Soderbergh’s otherwise magnificent heist movie and conjures up a Cockney accent so bad, even Dick Van Dyke would probably wince upon hearing it. With his horrifically stereotypical “Corrr blimey” voice, Cheadle just makes us wish his character Basher Tar would stop talking- though his character would feature in all three ocean movies, if he’s in another there will be “Barney Rubble… Trouble!”

 

Quentin Tarantino (Django Unchained)

Usually in a QT film, his cameo appearences are usually perfectly fine, but in his deep south revenge movie, Quentin turns up near the movie’s end sporting an Australian accent so horrendous, it makes Crocodile Dundee look like a potential Oscar winner! I’m unsure what the exact effect that Tarantino was going for this with- if was audience shock then succeeds admirably because here we don’t know whether to laugh or be shocked at this baffling voice!

Sean Connery (The Untouchables)

Ok, I admit this isn’t the worst crime of movie accents, but from a man who has made a successful career doing his own Edinburgh accent, not matter what the role (he even made Highlander’s Egyptian/Spainish Ramirez plausible), his attempt at doing an Irish accent in Brian De Palma’s prohibition drama left an acquired after taste- in some moments in could be excellent but frequently it does slip and slightly lets down his superb ‘Chicago Way’ speech. Connery performance is certainly far better than his accent, though kudos for trying!

 

Five Great Movie Dads

Atticus Finch (Gregory Peck) – To Kill a Mockingbird

Arguably the greatest on screen Dad ever, Atticus is a man who believes in the word of the law and is willing to defend an innocent black man on trumped up charges, for this his is willing to incur the wrath of the hostile town folk. Meanwhile he’s trying to raise his children single handed and set a positive example for them- through his compassionate actions and his campaigning for justice, Atticus is a father than any child would be proud to call their own, the scene as he exits the courtroom to the respect of African-American town members, you can feel the pride beaming from his daughters face.

Guiseppe Conlon (Pete Postlethwaite)- In the Name of the Father:

Wrongly imprisoned along with his son Gerry (Daniel Day-Lewis) for being one of the alleged Guildford Four bombers, Guiseppe is the very definition of hard working and he is forever appealing for their innocence to be heard despite fighting a terminal illness. Althroughout Gerry scoffs at his wise advise due to his free spirited nature, but before long he begins to realize just how much the old man has sacrificed for him and begins to pick up the fight himself. Guiseppe is the kind of world weary father we can all relate to having and one that we should always listen to because their words may guide us away from trouble.

Henry Jones Sr (Sean Connery) – Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: 

Ok, as a young man, Indiana Jones probably didn’t have it easy with Henry Jones Sr due to his reclusive nature and his obsession with the Holy Grail. But you would be hard pressed to find a father you finds a more exciting adventure for father and son than this man! But upon reflection- Indy learns whats a good father Henry was when he says “Did I ever tell you to eat up, go to bed, wash your ears, do your homework? No, I respected your privacy and I taught you self reliance.” In Last Crusade, the two men are continually at odds with each other, but underneath the competition lies a deep and binding love. Just watch the relief and joy on Henry’s face when he sees his son alive.

Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando) – The Godfather

A fierce believer in the notion of loyalty and the family, Vito Corleone will go to great lengths to ensure the safety of his own family. In business, there is no length to which he will not sink to get what he wants- cue the horse’s head in the producers bed! But although he has blood on his hands from past events, Vito is unwilling to allow his son Michael (Al Pacino) to get involved in his world and yearns for him to break free and become honest. When his son finally kills for the family, his devastation goes all the way to the core. Though compared to his old man, Michael becomes a great deal worse!

George Bailey (James Stewart) – It’s A Wonderful Life

Forever putting his happiness before others, George Bailey to see his family survive has given up many chances for fortune and glory. But despite having a loving family and many equally caring community members, George still wishes they had never existed and that his family would be better off without him! But when George sees what his life would be without his wife or kids, his desire to get them back again is powerful and the finale scene where they reunite is the perfect example of just how far his love for his children goes and his relief at having a chance to see them grow- despite his mid film rant denouncing them!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kevin Costner: Worthy of Redemption?

People are frequently beating up on Kevin Costner these days, ok fair enough the man had a horrific mid 1990’s with expensive and critical failures Waterworld and The Postman and as a result his star has since wained from the megastar he was back in the day. But one thing people have forgotten about the California native is that he is still able to draw our attention when on screen. So to make us remember why we loved him so much, here are some reminders of how great he can be!

Great Kevin Costner Performances

1. Field of Dreams: This is the role for which Costner is most associated with and through his excellent and naturalistic performance as everyman farmer Ray Kinsella- the idea of the American Dream was beautifully captured as he risks everything to build a baseball diamond in his backyard to have the greats of the game come play! His reunion scene with his estranged father will go down as one the most touching scenes in cinema history and through Costner’s barely contained emotion- it comes alive!
2. Dances with Wolves: Kevin’s directorial debut was initially derided by many experts of the industry who dubbed it ‘Kevin’s Gate’ but numerous Oscar’s later, Costner had the last laugh as his star was born in Hollywood. As weary US Soldier Lt. Jim Dunbar, this proved one of his most profound and heroic performances as a man who comes to love and embrace the Indians he comes to encounter, which causes great friction among the military.
3. The Untouchables: In this early star making role, Costner excels as idealistic Treasury agent Eliot Ness who in Al Capone dominated Chicago- decides to make a brave stand that will bring an empire crumbling down. With top support from Sean Connery, Costner’s turns in one of his best turns going from by the book enthusiasm to realising that winning sometimes requires you to go against your beliefs- cue him cooly throwing Billy Drago headfirst from a rooftop!
4. JFK: Do you believe the second shooter theory in JFK? Public opinion will go on until the end of time, but alongside this there is a superb Costner performance as D.A Jim Garrison. With sheer conviction and authority, Costner instantly grips us on screen and although Garrison’s motives for pursuing this are questionable at best but nonetheless we cheer for him all the way through and in doing so Garrison brings forward a theory that will stun the public and shed a whole new light of what happened that fateful day in Dallas!
5. Bull Durham: There’s always an air of cool associated with many of Costner’s early performances but it was never better demonstrated than in Ron Sheldon’s baseball film. As veteran catcher Ray ‘Crash’ Davis, Costner has effortless charisma as the minor league who is still yearning for a shot at glory but is being forced to mentor hot shot pitcher Nuke (Tim Robbins)- his speech of the things he ‘believes in’ to Susan Sarandon goes down as one of sports best monologue and confirms that Baseball and Kevin- go very well together!

 

After his impressive supporting role as Jonathan Kent in Man of Steel, it proves that there is more to come from this man and that he has lost none of his effect on screen and here’s to hoping to a deserved return form for this man! We’re routing for you KC!

Losing My Religion: Review of The Name of The Rose

Classic from the Vault

The Name of the Rose (1985)

Director: Jean-Jacques Annaud

By Alex Watson

 

A murder mystery always makes for great and compelling viewing in cinema as our protagonist struggles in vain to find a killer and these stories have been going back as far as time remembers. One great example of this type of story is when in 1985 French director, Jean-Jacques Annuad adapted Umberto Eco’s Franciscan Monastery set novel The Name of the Rose– although he turned a few heads casting Sean Connery- the end result was to be a career high for many involved as a murderer with a cause skulks through the abbey!

Set in 1327, Franciscan monk William of Baskerville (Sean Connery) travels with his young apprentice Adso (Christian Slater) to Benedictine Abbey to assist with an investigation of their murder of another Monk. Soon after their arrival, more deaths are involved and each is more gruesome than the last. The only thing connecting these deaths is the deceased all had black marks on their thumbs. It becomes clear soon that there is a killer among them to is silencing people to keep a secret of the abbey well hidden- things are also not helped when William’s bitter rival Bernardo Gui (F. Murray Abraham) arrives with the Holy Inquisition!

The Name of the Rose is one of the most under-rated thrillers of the 1980’s and through icy cold air there is a haunting ambience to the abbey that is forever lasting and through this Annaud allows this compelling mystery to unravel itself and gives us one of the most interesting and thrilling mysteries on years gone by! Though the Monks are men of God- we can sense that the Lord has abandoned this abbey long ago and this exemplified when Adso points this to out William who calmly replies “Have you found any places where God would have felt at home?”

From the very moment of William’s arrival- there are suspicious stares galore and it is made apparent that the monks harbour some dark secrets and through a variety of grotesquely featured actors (deliberately done by Annaud for good effect), including a pre stardom Ron Perlman as demented hunchback Salvatore- all of them look equally suspect and do not take kindly to William’s question of their ways.  As the slow burning tale slowly reveals each shocking revelation, Annaud keeps us constantly hooked. But things are then given a major shakeup when Gui and the Inquisition arrive on the scene and immediately begin accusing innocents of heresy and then burning them at the stake!

One of the main arguments of The Name of the Rose is the conflict of religion versus rationalism and it becomes apparent that one of the monks believes laughter to be the work of the devil whereas Williams argues that it is in mans nature to laugh and enjoy laugh! Soon this argument forms one of the core aspects of the plot and it becomes apparent that there is a book missing from the library that one monk will kill to keep secret!

Sean Connery was not originally wanted as William and had to fight off competition from Richard Harris, Ian McKellen Michael Caine and Paul Newman to claim the role. His BAFTA win for Best Actor proves he was the right choice and his William is a great mixture of clever thinking and sly wit and throughout he makes a wonderful investigator who isn’t afraid to ruffle feather- no matter how high up they may be!  As Gui, F. Murray Abraham makes a memorably nasty villain and Gui is a man who seems to enjoy abusing the power his role gives him and from the moment he arrives, he is given a free reign to spread chaos!

Christian Slater in his first ever role holds the screen well as innocent novice Adso and it could even by argued that this is truly his story and his faith is shaken as he witnesses how brutal mankind can be! Slater after his great 80’s performances hasn’t been any near as strong since and in some way it is a shame as he is magnificent here. Also the narration of Dwight Weist as the older Adso deserves a mention and it sends a tingle through us whenever it appears!

The Name of the Rose is a movie that deserves a watch by fans of this genre because through the excellent direction of Annauld and Connery’s charismatic performance, this will rank as one of the most original thrillers you will ever see. Though do prepare for things to get gruesome because there is no holy spirit guarding these walls!